Heartbreaking: Middle Arm Parents Unfairly Attacked For Being Intolerant Hateful Homophobes

Written by Polly Spain, May 18th 2018

MIDDLE ARM, N.L. - A group of parents believe they have been unfairly treated due to their choice to prevent their children from attending an educational talk about inclusion and acceptance. This presentation took place at the local school, focusing on inclusion of the LGBTQ community. Out of 85 children who were eligible to show, only 13 attended the seminar. Many parents believed the gateway to hell was to be opened during this presentation, and feared their kid would be swallowed into an eternal fiery pit.

A Facebook post written by a M.A local, which has since been deleted states: “If this is right, I hope every family with ANY biblical morals will be keeping their kids home.”

This same user later then posted, "What happened to the good ole days when you could stone non-virgins in the streets? Or when it was okay to bang your sibling? As long as they're of the opposite gender ha ha."

Many were surprised to learn that the unclean child attendees of the seminar were still alive the morning after the inclusivity talk. Parents concluded that Satan must have had more important matters to attend.


Mary, a local rationalist stated, "It's not that I hate gay people. I just fear that my husband will accept that theres a whole other gender he can cheat on me with." 

Moving forward, the town of Middle Arm hopes that it can expel all liberal citizens to embrace a more intolerant society. 

© 2018 by caktusclan